A Trip to Toffee's
by Fargosis
Summary: Desperate to gain any sort of edge over the mysterious Toffee through any means or information possible, Princess Star Butterfly, with all the benefits of being princess of Mewni, tracks down the home of Toffee's family, and brings Marco with hopes of a diplomatic success.
"Star are you sure we should be doing this?"

"As sure I am that I'm the princess of Mewni, this world? I'm kind of a big deal here you know,"

"Okay, okay, but is this really a good idea Star? We know how dangerous Toffee is-"

"Yeah but we aren't visiting Toffee-"

"But what if they're just as bad?" Marco pleaded. Star turned back to look at him and pumped her wand as though it was a shot gun.

"Let's hope for their sake that they aren't". Star was confident they wouldn't be, she had done a bit of research the day before as to the family and home of her current greatest nemesis, Toffee. It was unsurprising that he lived in the urban ghetto that surrounded the capital. He was well educated and in good health, it would only make sense that he came from the upper half of the Mewni populace. Star was even able to find a record of him attending one of the few co-species Mewni schools when he was Star and Marco's age. She had learned that he did still have a family, although his relationship with them at current was unknown, who still resigned in the same building.

"Lets see..." Star said, looking at the addresses posted on the gritty apartment . "There's 302...304...306...Aha! 308! Komoni residence! Come on Marco!" Out of pure excitement Star grabbed Marco's hand and raced down the sidewalk and up to the door. It was one f those double family apartments, where the building was cut in half and split between two different families. Sticking her tongue out, Star rang the doorbell and patiently waited on the front step, summoning a mirror with her wand to double check her tiara, making sure it would be completely visible.

"Star are you really sure about this?" Marco asked for the hundredth time that afternoon.

"Marco you gotta ** _r-e-l-a-x_** I'm like, this place's biggest celebrity! I'm like their president!...'s daughter! Everyone loves me!"

"Ludo and his army sure don't seem to," Marco grumbled.

"Well...almost everyone, they're the minority"

"Well shouldn't we have come with like...guards or something as back up in case they're in the minority too?"

"Don't be silly Marco," Star lightly jabbed Marco in the stomach with her wand, " That would only petrify them,"

The door opened and Star and Marco were greeted by what appeared to be an elderly lizard woman, somewhat shorter and rounder than Toffee give or take.

"How may I help y-" The Monster woman looked down at the princess of the kingdom and shut the door. After a moment of two, she re-opened the door for the children,

"Greetings! Um, your royal highness! What an honor to be bestowed upon with your presence," The large monster bowed, much to the delight of Star and skepticism of Marco. "And for what purposes do you um...grant us the privilege of your visit oh great princess butterfly?" Her eyes bounced, breaking eye contact with the all powerful princess of mewni for but a moment.

Star politely pushed asides the monster woman and walked inside "I'm just here for investigative purposes,"

"Oh...investigative purposes...how lovely..." The elderly monster woman replied quietly, "But I'm sure my family will be more and happy to help you deary, say, where are my manners?! Would you kids care for a spot of tea? I'll go get you some tea!" And with that, she scampered off into what was presumably the kitchen. Star and Marco sat down of the old-fashioned, but comfy looking couch.

"See Marco? What'd I say! She's being so nice to us right now!" Star beamed, proud of herself for being right where Marco was wrong and excited to gain information and an edge on Toffee.

"Uh Star I think maybe uh-" Marco babbled shyly before stopping himself, not wanting to distrust Star. it was probably nothing.

Star and Marco sat their quietly waiting, from the kitchen they could both here some clanging, crashing, and a few raised voices. Finally, a different lizard monster woman came out, with tea and candies. She was much taller than the previous monster, with a long thin neck and small snout. For a monster she was very pretty and graceful, from her clothing and age Marco could only guess that this was the head woman, or former head woman of the house. Maybe monsters were kind of like earth animals. He had already become suspicious that 'monster' was just an umbrella term for what were actually several different species of creatures. Maybe Lizard people worked kind of like normal lizards, and were matriarchal. It was only a wild guess though, and now wasn't the time for Marco to be asking in-depth questions about monsters on Mewni and their history and culture.

"Please forgive my mother," said the tall monster lady as she handed out teacups, "You just made her so nervous," she bit her lower lip, pupils dilated. "-because it's not everyday we are graced with the royal family! She was just er...worried that she was not prepared enough to be a good hostess your royal highness," she bowed her head in respect, Star smiled on contempt with this justification

"Oh please, don't let me be a bother," Star was absolutely giddy. "I'm just here to ask about a...Toffee Komoni? Now," Star leaned back casually against the couch's arm rest "You wouldn't know anything about a Toffee now would you? Second in command of Ludo's army?" a large smug grin pulled at the sides of Star's face. The tall monster's knees shook.

"Why uh-I um, I haven't-"

"Now that's a name that hasn't come up in a while," another lizard woman entered the room from a side door, entering from the door adjacent to the kitchen door. "The name's Scotch, Butterscotch, shaken not stirred, not that you kids are old enough to understand that, right princess?" dressed in black leather and ripped denim, and a face covered in piercings, Star was reminded of her and princess pony head's rebellious phase. She wasn't sure if this meant she liked this monster more or less than the other non-rebellious lizard people. Star shook her hand...Talon? Claw? "Yeah I used to know a 'Toffee Komoni', haven't seen him in a long while, what's it to ya?" Butterscotch nodded to the taller skinnier monster, who immediately fled from the room.

Marco couldn't help but wonder, considering the names of everyone in Star's family and the weird outer space theme, if everyone in Toffee's family had a confection based name too, maybe themed names was just part of Mewni culture. But this really wasn't the time to be asking questions about the culture of Mewni and the history of naming.

Star frowned, she was a little shocked by the sudden change, but at least Butterscotch sounded like she could actually teach her a thing or two about Toffee. "Well, as a threat to the kingdom Toffee Komoni is of top Royal Butterfly family priority," Star puffed her chest out as though she were one of her family's royal soldiers, like the ones who had been spending the past several months trying to track down and fend off Ludo, Toffee, and the army.

"real threat huh? Well ah gees I'm real sorry your majesty-"

"It's 'your royal highness'" Star corrected abruptly "'Your majesty' is in reference to the ruling monarch," Butterscotch could only roll her eyes.

"Anyway, I'm not sure I really know anything about good ol' Toffs that could be of service to you and the 'royal family' but I'll answer any questions I can," Star's grip tightened around the wand, tempted to test her theory that not all lizard people had regeneration powers like Toffee did. She frowned in discontent, Butterscotch kept glancing over her head at the front door, waiting.

"How long has Toffee been harboring conspiracies against the kingdom?" Star demanded, acting like a real guard, catching Butterscotch off guard. She shrugged.

"Dunno,"

"Really?! You don't have any ideas!? What about his plans!? What does he want with my wand?! Why does he want it destroyed!?" Star was growing more and more impatient with the lack of answers she was receiving. Butterscotch rolled her eyes again.

"Look, princess, I'm sorry but I haven't talked with Toffee in years, I'd hardly know what he looks like if I saw him. All i know is he went to of your fancy-smancy co-species school," Butterscotch said with added air quotes for extra sass, "then he went off to college and I ain't ever seen him again, for all I know, he's dead."

Star threw her hands down of the coffee table. "but he CAN'T be dead because he just tried to KILL us only a WEEK ago!" Star beat her fists against the table in rhythm with her voice while Marco struggled to hold her back.

"I'm sorry, look, I don't know all the details about Toffee as of the now, he was a scrawny little kid with big glasses and bad hair last time I saw him, but how about you just sit tight until my niece gets home from work, I think she'll have the answers you need,"

"How's everybody getting along?" The tall thin monster stepped back into the room, sounding a little anxious.

Marco spoke up "We're sorry to be a bother ma'am, but uh, we may need to stay for a little while longer, if that's okay with you," Star turned and glanced at him, she was a princess, she had told him, they didn't need permission to go or stay anywhere on Mewni.

"Oh that's fine that's _fine"_ Tall lizard woman reassured. "Butterscotch, dear sister, why don't you show our guests to the bathroom? Dinner is just about ready! Oh you will join us at the table won't you your royal highness?" he head twitched back over at Star.

"Oh, we do suppose we can take some time from our busy schedule to entertain the commoners," Star exaggerated, nudging Marco "right Marco?"

"yes princess," he sighed semi-playfully, relieved the tension had passed.

The Dining room was small and cramped, even more monsters Star hadn't yet seen were seated at the table, a skinny elderly lizard, quite possibly the husband of the old woman who let her in; two much smaller lizard monsters, a little girl with curly pigtails who seemed enamored with Star, she _was_ the princess after all, and a lizard who looked about to be the age of Star, glaring at anyone and everyone his eyes rested on; a female Griffon like monster, perhaps the landlord or someone's girlfriend, inner-species relationships were becoming more and more common although never between human and monster. And finally, 4 empty chairs on one side of the table. Star and Marco had been barely squeezed in at opposing corners of the table, Star was impressed by the smells coming from the kitchen. She knew that monsters were less cultured and wealthy than mewmans, especially her own royal family, but the food still smelled amazing. The tall lizard woman walked into the room carrying serving bowls. Mashed Corn and cooked flycatcher. Nothing even close to the levels of gourmet meals Star had been accustomed to at the palace, but it was a nice reminder of Mewni cooking after several months of eating earth food. The tall lizard woman sat down in one of the four empty chairs and frowned.

"Can somebody go get pops please?"

"I'm coming I'm coming!" a voice called from the hallway. Eventually, a hunched over lizard man with a walker made his way into the dinning room and took the empty seat next to presumably his wife, the tall skinny lizard lady. Star paused when he sat down, he was different from the others, more primal. His eyes were narrow, red and crooked, and he had a large mouth filled with fangs, the decedent of those that had spent millions of years aiding his ancestors in evolution, unto beasts known to silently lunge out of the swamp waters at their victims, snapping their necks with their powerful jaws before pulling them under into the dark murk. He looked to be about his wife's age, and it wasn't uncommon for monsters his age to suffer from serious physical ailments and handicaps, so Star thought nothing of his walker.

The meal was good, even Marco seemed to like it, although Star felt a little silly eating in a monster family's dining room, and it wasn't helping the way the little girl lizard kept staring at Star from across the table. Star found the child, like most monsters, to be unseenly, but that was not fault of the child herself. Every now and again a monster would glance at the empty chairs. Assuming one was meant for Toffee, Star couldn't help but be suspicious of the lack of information they had given her. After all, if they were to be found of lying, withholding information from Mewni royalty, or hiding a public enemy, they'd all be evicted, jailed, and possibly executed. Maybe even by the Queen's wand if need be.

After the meal Star approached cautiously and tugged on the sleeve of Butterscotch, "Uh, how long did you say it would take for your niece to get home?"

"She'll be back any minute now, how's about I sit down and wait with you kids?" a sly smile stretched across her face. So the three of them sat in uncomfortable silence in the front of the apartment, looks were exchanged but nothing was said. Marco mostly looked down at his feet, while Star impatiently tapped her fingers on her wand. This day had turned out far different than Star had planned, and not the exciting different Marco had so been scared that it would turn to.

The silence of the room was brought to an abrupt end when the door Butterscotch previously had been watching opened with a creak, and a monster greatly resembling Toffee stepped into the apartment. With her entrance, two much smaller monsters came hopping down the stairs, she gave them each a hug and sent them on their way. one wandered over to Star, making sure that the princess was _actually_ in her home, before running off to play again. The Toffee looking monster walked circles around the room like a shark, piercing cold eyes staring through Star and Marco, before she took a seat in the arm chair.

"So, your royal highness, am I to presume you're here about Toffee?" Butterscotch huffed and began to slither out of the room, the toffee looking monster kept her eyes on her until she left.

Star nodded quietly. "He's a menace to society and we need to know more," Star nodded slowly in agreement with her own voice and Marco followed suite.

"hand over the wand,"

"Oh alri-wAIT _ **WHAT!?**?" _

"Hand over your wand. please."

"Uh, I'm pretty sure that won't be necessary," Marco snapped his head in the direction of Star, staring lasers deep into the back of her brain.

 _'please Star'_ he begged in silence _'don't make this come to physical confrontation,'_

The lizard woman took out her box of cigarettes, lit up and breathed it in deeply before puffing it out. "Well, as you are expecting me to trust you with information about my brother, myself, my home and my **_family,_** I would argue, personally, that given the incredible valuable information on Mewni's top priority, I should be treated with the basic respect and assurance that me and my family will not be blasted into oblivion before this little interrogation is over, your royal highness,"

Marco turned his attention to the lizard woman, begging **_HER_ ** in silence not to make this meeting come to physical confrontation.

"Fine...but I'm going to have to search your home afterwards!" Star threatened. The monster raised an eyebrow at this

"Why? Do you think we're hiding Toffee _somewhere_? This isn't the castle princess, we don't exactly have that sort of space."

"Well-well!" it was rare for a monster to call out a royal butterflies' status and it was incredibly embarrassing for Star "Contraband! Ahaha!"

"Do you mean things owned by or connected to Toffee?"

"Haha! So you are hiding things from the government! you know that can get you a life sentence in my family's dungeon!" Marco's mouth hung agape.

"Here," she reached out and handed an unopened enveloped to Star, "This was in my mail, an unopened, unaltered letter from Mewni's number one enemy, go ahead, open it, read it, you can have the rest"

Star was quick to rip open the envelope, Marco rested his head on her shoulder to read it, this was the type of lead Star had been anticipating all day!

 _To my dearest sister_

 _Taffy, I hate to inform you, but I must, I shall not be rejoining the family this year for Mewnimas. The troops are weak and our base in shambles, we have hired new recr_ _uits but they are incredibly inexperienced and Ludo refuses to permit even I from taking time off. All the same, I will keep you all in heart and mind, even more so than I already do. Morale is lowering, Ludo may be cruel and selfies but he is fragile and weak, revolt is stirring among even the most seasoned veterans here and the tides of revolution are rising. Wages have been slashed and I therefore have nothing of which I can offer you or the family at this point in time. Our hours of expected work per day has increased dramatically and I am unsure as to how much longer I can afford to consistently send you these letters. Thank you for the photographs, it's hard for me to think about how much the family has grown without me, but the pictures brighten up my small hovel and I cannot wait for you to send more. In a strange way the children, your children, give me hope. Hope that all you and I are doing and struggle with currently aren't all for not, and that the revolution will hopefully build brighter lives for them than the ones we inherited. I have no access to photography where I currently reside, not that there would be much to shoot. The soldiers grow thinner everyday, and I fear the day Ludo finally decides to deny me access to his bountiful hoard. I can only hope that the others come to their senses before then, and then we shall all dine together as brothers of a new resistance against the hated Butterfly monarchy. How are mother and father? I know you are all doing your best to keep him from resting, relaxed, and away from work, but he is a stubborn monster, and he detests laziness. Feel free to remind him why he can not longer work whenever he gets particularly antsy. Hug mother for me,I know they know I miss them and you all, but she deserves so much more. I don't know when i will be home again, if all turns out as planned then this war may be over quickly, and I will be home again at once._

 _Your beloved brother,_

 _Toffee_

Star scanned over the letter, over and over again. Sitting on her knee's, fingers trembling, she turned back and looked up at Taffy, "So uh... does Toffee have any weaknesses?"

Taffy shrugged "bad eyesight," she stated matter-of-factly "needs prescription lenses, doesn't wear them"


End file.
